Melissa McCarty : Living In A Fickle Society

Growing up it was cute to act whimsical, to be unsure of everything around us, weighing our options, carefree and not fazed by people. Back then we never put weight on the actions of others or felt disappointment by them because it was never life altering, we were kids trying to figure out who we were.

As we grow and face the perils of life, love, loss, sickness, or financial worries we are forced to grab hold of all things and people we hold dear, those we trust and find comfort and inspiration in.

We realize staying sane is difficult enough on a day to day, so why should be allow fickle people into our lives knowing the distractions they cause? We do it because of hope. We do it because fickle people are also the ones with the greatest game, the pitch that makes us think, “This could be something special.” Were sold on an idea, a feeling we ride until the disappointment is unveiled.

Not just through love, friendships but business as well. We spend our valuable precious time creating strong ties with people sharing our dreams, our goals then many people when faced with a tough conversation or emotions they can’t own up to either, bail or take a step back hoping time will solve what a raw conversation can cure.

People will spend months building themselves up or an image they’ve created in others. They will spend countless hours on a goal drafted with great care until an awkward moment arises, or a conflict is faced. Instead of hunkering down and getting past it like our parent’s generation did, most people run and hide. Fickle people only delay your happiness, its wasted time they don’t mind wasting because they rationalize it. Beyond that word is a person filled with self-doubt that spreads onto others.

What’s missing is the truth. Real talks admitting although you say you had no expectations you secretly did and it didn’t play out how you envisioned. As an example, in just one-weeks’ time I had a talent I spent one year developing and pitching shows for turn his back because his deal didn’t come fast enough. I had a partner back out of a contractual agreement because his feelings changed overnight, the courageous act we were embarking on turned into a fearful one and he couldn’t deliver the message himself. I had a hot guy obsess over me for more than a month, texting from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed, daily. He read my book unprompted within three days, all of my articles, watched my videos on the internet while planning this moment in time we’d share. His ego and insecurities after two days of 16 hour talks dissolved into disappointment because the image built up in his head, that was desired and the reality of the circumstances of real life didn’t match up.

Instead of being in the moment a fickle person dissects that moment while in it. The end will result in time wasted with a person who needs to know themselves better. People who need to spend less time fantasizing an image and actually build a relationship starting with the concrete foundation of character and respect.

At work, take your goal and strip it down to step one, two and three and get to work. I want people in my life who will roll up their sleeves and know it may get dirty but it’ll always be worth it.

Changing your wants is normal, I’m the first person to back out of going to a party to stay home, or choose that jaw dropping dress over the appropriate one, but I never shift, never alter my perception on basic characteristics of being consistent as a person, being what I portray to people.

I want people thirsting to work with me, to create with me, even to date me. We all do, and we all deserve it without the veil usually labeled as ego. From my experience if you think it through, those fickle people aren’t as successful, or driven, their walking a few paces behind but expecting to always be first. It appears they know what they want because they come on so strong. Beware of those who are very aggressive too soon because inside their torn and confused, their insecurities are talking too loud, over thinking fogs what’s happening in real-time.

While they change their minds, considering which way to turn, everyone else has moved on and laid down another building block to the ever cherished loyalties in life. By all means, figure yourself out, take your sweet time, but don’t waste my time, tap into my dreams and slow down my progress. Inner strength is sexy, being who you say you are is sexy, being consistent in character is now the unseen but always desired Unicorn of life.

Self Help on Huffington Post