Michelle Dempsey: Feeling Sexy After Motherhood: It’s Easier Than You Think

Two really strange things happened to me after I had a baby.

First, I left behind a life of obsessive compulsive dieting and exercise that I so fiercely maintained for 20+ years. Second, I found no desire to kill myself over the last ten pounds my body decided it was going to hold on to (this normally would have put me over the edge).

And these two things combined, made me feel like the baddest babe on the block — a feeling I had never experienced before.

I became innately happy. I felt comfortable in my own skin. I suddenly didn’t hate myself anymore. Didn’t find reasons to torture my body for just a few more miles in the gym. Didn’t put myself down anytime someone dare try to compliment me.

I felt sexy.



And not like a Victoria’s Secret runway show model type of sexy. More like sexy, empowered, woman on a mission — and I was pleasantly surprised.

I grew up with the notion that after a baby, you were supposed to lose your sex appeal; hate your new body, dress to cover it up, and mope around Target like a frumpy woman desperately missing her youth. I spent years hating myself, so this was all something I thought I could take on quite well. But then I held my daughter in my arms for the first time, stared in awe at her precious newborn face, and realized that my life was just beginning, and I was reborn as well.

My confidence hit at all time high — I was someone’s mommy, after all. And this fact alone helped me to develop a love for myself that was missing for so many years. Now, I cherish myself. I cherish the gift of life I’ve been given and make sure to shower myself, my daughter, and everyone around me with as much love as possible — just to ensure I’m doing my part the keep the universe my daughter and I live in a positive one.

And damn if that doesn’t feel sexy.

It’s the loving myself that makes me feel sexy — yup, that’s exactly what it is. And if feeling sexy as a mom is wrong, well, screw it — I don’t want to be right. After all, I brought a little babe into this world, shouldn’t I feel like one too?

Here are my top 4 tips for feeling sexy after baby:

4. Accept yourself as you are.
I get it. Your hips may be wider. You may have sprouted your first gray hairs. Those fine lines and wrinkles may have made their debut appearance around your eyes. You may never get those abs back, and screw it, who needs those anyway?


You’re living. You’re raising a human. You are exercising your superwoman abilities at the maximum levels. All of this should bring a confidence that you, and you alone, have contributed something beautiful to this planet. And you should rock all of it with pride. It’s so damn sexy.

3. Dress to make yourself feel good.
I went through a horribly weird nesting phase before my daughter was born, and packed away all of the clothing in my closet that could have been considered as sexy. I thought these were off-limits once I moved into mom-ville. But wait, dress myself in mom jeans?

No thanks.



Not long after I dropped (most of) the baby weight, however, and hit my stride in the confidence department, I unpacked that bag, and now wear (most of) that clothing with pride. Pride. That’s sexy.

2. Repeat after me: It’s OKAY to Put Yourself First.
When you’re a mom, you’re constantly giving in to everyone else’s needs. Bending over backwards just to get your toddler to eat something. Moonlighting as a chauffer for most of the day. But forgetting your own needs when you become a mom?


When you become an advocate for your own needs, your confidence soars. When your confidence soars, you feel sexy. When you feel sexy, well, you become unstoppable. You see where I’m going here, right?

1. Treat yourself.
This is the most important part. You wouldn’t run a Bentley into the ground, would you? You wouldn’t expect JLo to skip her facial appointment because the landscaper is coming, would you? Skip the royal treatment because I’ve got too many other things to do?

Not happening.



I treat myself regularly and I couldn’t stress this act of self-love more. It doesn’t have to be much. It doesn’t have to be lavish. But it does have to be enough to make you feel like the queen that you are. Enough to celebrate the fact that you deserve to be celebrated for no reason at all. And when you treat yourself and indulge in the much needed self-care that all women deserve, you’re also dialing up the sexy meter, because nothing is sexier than a woman who knows her worth.

So in case you need me, I’ll be indulging in all of the above after my daughter’s bedtime tonight, most likely in a sexy, new, MADI Apparel ensemble, binge-watching Netflix, not dealing with that pile of laundry in the corner just yet, and preparing for another day of loving myself and this really sexy life I’ve been given.

And guess what, I think you should too.

Self Help on Huffington Post