Najma Khorrami: 5 Tips For Learning How To Exude Confidence In Your Character


Do you struggle with being confident? Are you interested in picking up tips to help you feel more confident? Want to feel confident as often as possible? Try these 5 tips.

1. Learn to say no when you mean it.

We may have a laundry list of chores, errands or other tasks that pertain to our own well-being and for those around us. If you feel like you’re being asked to do a certain chore or task that is too much for you, remember you can say no if you mean it. Perhaps it is too difficult and you need to ask for help. Try to ask for help in that case. But first, don’t take on too much for yourself if it is indeed beyond your ability to handle, whether emotionally or physically.

Knowing your own limits does not make you less of a people-pleaser. It means you understand your capabilities and emotional threshold, so that you don’t ruin your mood and stay atop of the chores, errands and tasks that you can handle and do very well. Knowing yourself, your limits, and gently setting boundaries can show you are emotionally self-aware and uniquely confident. Also, if you accept too much, you can let others down by not being able to deliver what was asked for, either totally or partially.

2. Seize opportunities that will let you shine.

When presented with an opportunity that you know you can succeed in, try to take that on. Yes, the same task may be easy for you, but for someone else it could be very difficult. For example, if you are a great makeup artist, try to put on the right ‘look’ for specific occasions to make you feel pretty. Using the best moisturizer may be your secret. Perhaps sparkling with lip gloss is your trademark touch. Whatever the case, you can look your best and look confident when you seize this opportunity to show off your skill in applying makeup. Try figuring out 2 to 3 things you are particularly good at, and consistently apply your talents to allow you to look and feel confident.

3. Don’t step on other people’s toes. Chart your own path to success.

If you have a habit of taking advantage of other people, your chances of likely having authentic and valuable self-confidence is probably low. The difference is significant between taking advantage of someone versus asking someone for help. If you have a track record of doing things while knowing where and when to ask for help, and still steering your own path to success, self-confidence is probably one of your proven personal traits. There is no problem with asking for help. It shows grace and poise in the midst of a challenge.

Remember that in order to gain true self-confidence you ought to take measures that are not deceitful, do not exploit others for personal gain, and that are respectful of others. This requires hard work at times, but is ultimately more rewarding and actually more advantageous for the benefit of solid character and proven self-confidence.

4. Try to be your own self when you face the world.

When we put on a face to the world, that shows us happier or stronger than we see ourselves, our chances of identifying our emotions and struggles can become more difficult. With more emotions to juggle, we can become consumed with presenting our “face” and forget about our actual feelings. This may not always be the case, but considering that we ought to value ourselves the most, saving “face” may not mean as much.

It shows grace and poise to not showcase every emotion to everyone we meet. However, being honest in the right time and setting will show greater confidence because it shows others that we validate our emotions, can identify them, and are able to speak about whatever obstacles we may face articulately. Letting loose at the right time about struggles is a skill that helps us be our authentic selves. Try to master it, so you can stay authentic while building self-confidence.

5. Love yourself for who you are while maintaining structured and uplifting “self-talk.”

Yes, we might have struggles that make us feel devalued or left with less hope than we may have wanted, but try to keep yourself content with your complete character if you can. Don’t be quick to judge. Feel free to let difficult or negative thoughts float by, and try to understand where they are coming from, that is, perhaps from an upset or struggle. Find those flaws, but don’t judge yourself by them. Love your most positive traits, and work on your flaws. Rationalizing the parts you don’t love about yourself is a great first step. For example, if you feel self-doubt, perhaps you can attribute it to difficulty in your life such as a testing relationship. Keep in mind challenges come and go, so rationalizing the source of upset, fatigue, stress or less hope will keep your mind and feelings out of the gutter.

If you want to exude confidence in all that you do, keep these tips in mind. They could be the beginning of your list, or added to other tips you might have. Try to rationalize what keeps you most successful, and you’ll be ready to exude confidence hopefully more often than not. Circumstances in life can shake your self-confidence towards positivity or negativity, which is normal, but what’s important is to recognize these changes and to persevere, go forward and rebuild that confidence.

If you wish to contact the author, Ms. Najma Khorrami, you may email her at


Self Help on Huffington Post

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